Healthy Happy Intimate Adult Relationship

Healthy Happy Intimate HHIA Relationships 6

Female, Male, In, Out and In Between (3)

If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?

It’s Sean again! Now that we have taken a moment to talk and think about our bodies and the bodies we find beautiful, let’s consider the whole person. Someone we can imagine being attracted to, having a converation with and maybe even…

The Four Elements

If we imagine a whole person there are lots and lots of vaiables. It can help to think of a whole person as a combination of “elements”. In western society we have four elements: earth, water, air and fire. These elements can be decribed as different aspects of our personhood or beingness.  

So, you can say, use this system to describe the different aspects of a person you might know, like to know or be attracted to. For instance, we can say that each element represents a specific set of features of someone. And we have already started with the earth element:  

Earth = Body/Fitness

„Earth Image“ by Moa Throneby

In other words, let’s look back to our last Blog-lesson. We discussed the physical attributes of our attraction. If we consider the physical reality of our bodies and the material aspects of our existence as the earth element, then we have already taken a moment to explore the earth element. We, at the very least, got started. The earth element represents our bodies, our fitness, our physics and material existence.  

Water = Heart/Emotions

„Water…“ by Ryota Kawasaki

Just like earth element represents the physical body, the element of water represents our hearts, our emotional selves. And, as our bodies are unique, so are our emotions. The intensity of our feelings and our responses to our emotions ranges from stoic or cool to wild and furious! How comfortable are you expressing how you feel? How quickly or intensely do you respond to others and their feelings. Are you empathetic, sympathetic or are you protective of your own heart when others cry, laugh, panic or yell?    

Are you attracted to someone who reacts quickly intensly to others? Do you want someone who hums when they are happy or cries when the see a romantic comedy? What do you think about people who are stoic, quiet and protective of their emotions? As we begin to recognize our emotional responses, depths and limits, we can learn to recognize how and why we are emotionally reactive and responsive to those around us.

Air = Brain/Intellect

White clouds and blue sky

Are you a thinker, a talker? The element air represents the thought which includes communication. For instance, thinking, communicating, learning and reading are aspects of the air element. Can you imagine sitting with someone reading and discussing your thoughts? Is that something that appeals to you? Would you rather sit in silence or chat with someone? Would you rather chat with someone about the weather or the meaning of life, jokes or hard topics, gossip or the news? Thinking and communication are essential to our sense of connection and relationship building.

If you consider your comfort and your interests, you become more aware of what you want and desire in HHIA relationships. Finding someone who shares some to most of these comfort levels and interest is a great leap towards finding comfort, trust and perhaps even love between us.

Fire = Spirit/Passion

Blue and yellow flames coming off a set of logs on a fire

Fire is the fourth element. The fire element in some cultures, philosophies and religions is thought of as the “spark of life”, the passion and the creative impulse. This element is unique and can be considered as a range of intensity, expression and experience, as are the other elements earth, water and air. We are all born with our own energy levels, passions and creativity. Some of us race around vigourously with or without focus or productivity. Others can nap all afternoon. Some of us are in constant motion and others rarely move from the bed to the sofa without great effort. This is another of the aspects of our lives and characters which can affect our compatability and comfort in the company of an intimate partner.

Elementally my dear…

In this constellation, earth, water, air & fire, we can find hotspots, waves of emotions, brickwalls and gusts of inspiration. Our reaction to the drops, the heat, the wind and the stones on our path can help us to imagine, empathize, consider and touch those around us with greater understanding and knowledge of them and of ourselves.

On that note, I am going to let go and give you some time with the elements. I look forward to being here again next time with a look at beginning to interact and communicate with potential partners. Questions & Comments More about me

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