Healthy Happy Intimate Adult Relationship, Uncategorized

Healthy Happy Intimate HHIA Relationships 26

Express Yourself (2)

This is Sean again. I am back with you to continue our exploration of initial communication. After our last Blog-lesson where we looked at eye contact and body language. Now it is time to consider our words.

Use your words

There are two basic communication building blocks we need to consider.

One the one hand knowing what you want to say and on the other hand knowing how to say what you want to say. These two things are most important to achieve good communication. This is why we have been looking at ourselves and exploring what is important for us.

Photo by Camille Nichol on Scopio

What

Hence, we are aware and have considered our own likes, attractions, feelings and desires.  

(You can go back to earlier blog lessons to further explore these things.)  

How

  1. First, be clear about what you want to say: feelings, thoughts, etc.
  2. Second, make eye contact, use body language and be aware your posture (See Blog 25).  
  3. Third use “I sentences…”

I think, therefore I am.

René Decartes
Photo by Gülsüm Kisla on Scopio

– I am, therefore I communicate

A great way to express ourselves are “I statements”.  In other words, using these are a way of expressing ourselves and owning our thoughts and feelings. It is a way of sharing ourselves without giving away our responsibility or our power.

A few examples include: 

  • I believe…
  • I think…
  • When… I feel…
  • I am …
  • What I like…
  • I would like…
Photo by Brit Worgan on Scopio

Questions?

The important thing is not to stop questioning.

Albert Einstein
Quotemaster

After, or even before, sharing ourselves, we can ask questions. Questions show interest and encourage others to share themselves with us. Questions can be open or closed, leading or not.

Some Questions:

Open:

  • Who……?
  • What……?
  • Where……?
  • When……?
  • Why……?
  • How……?
  • Which……?

Closed:

Leading:

Photo by Lina Khalid on Scopio

When you ask a question, be sure to listen to your partner’s answer. Then you respond with another question or an I statement of your own. By listening to your partners words, looking them in the eye and responding “on topic” , you create a communal space. Hence, a mix of questions and I statements can create a lively and really fun interaction and maybe even spark an interest that wasn’t there to begin with.

Take a minute or two and practice this kind of interaction with a friend. Do this with someone you like, trust or know well to practice. And let me know how it goes and what you think. This is Sean wishing you all the best.

Your thoughts? Till next time! Our earlier Blog-Lessons:

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