Healthy Happy Intimate Adult Relationship

Healthy (Happy) Intimate Relationships 2

Who & How

We are back with „Who Interests Who and How!“

Welcome to the second Blog-Lesson for HHIA (healthy, happy, intimate adult) relationships. I am Sean and after our first blog-Lesson and the discussion of the importance of definitions and parameters for an HHIA relationship, we can explore who might be a prospective partner for you.

A Good Start

A good place to start this discussion is to explore our attractions and how they inform our heads, hearts and bodies when we interact with others.   For instance, Dr. Alfred Kinsey and his associates developed a way of measuring who we are attracted to on four different levels. This process included extensive in person invterviews which adress several aspect of adult experiences, feelings and thoughts. Because, These aspects include emotional attachment, intellectual attraction, physical experience and personal fantasies.

Dr. Kinsey’s initial work and research which included over 8,000 interviews happened in the 1940’s in the United States and were published in 1948 (Male) and 1953 (Female) respectively:

Original Editions

This body of work and theory is one of the most renowned standards for intimate attraction and behavior. As a result, it is a product of its time with regard to definition and use of gender as a binary concept.  Today gender is widely regarded and understood as a continuum. With that in mind, the continuum of human attraction is well documented and discussed in the works metioned above.  Essentially, Dr. Kinsey and Associates developed a seven-point scale with four variables to describe how one individual is attracted to another individual. The rating was established on a point system from Zero to 6. Zero representing the the same gender exclusively and six representing the opposite gender exclusively. Number one, two three, four , and five represent a continuum which includes „both“ genders to varying degrees (See Below).

Ask Yourself

The four levels or variables of attaction can be adressed by the following questions:

  1. Who are you most comfortable with (atracted to) intellectually? 
  2. Who are you most comfortable with (attracted to) emotionally?
  3. WIth whom have you been physically intimate?
  4. What do you fantasize about?

And the answers are only people of my own gender 0, both genders in varying degrees 1-5, or people of the opposite gender 6 alone. Variations from one to five (1, 2,3, 4, and 5) offer the opportunity to express feelings of comfort, attraction and experience which include members of both genders.  You can ask yourself the same questions using the table below:

Only     Same
Mostly Same
More Same
Equal Both
More Opposite
Mostly Opposite
Only Opposite
Kinsey-esque Scale

Once you have filled in your answers to question one through four, you can then add the answers to all four questons together and divide the sum by four. The result is a wholistic attraction concept, your “Kinsey-esque Score”.


Statistically, Dr. Kinsey found that most people’s scores land somewhere between 1 and 5 with the 0s and 6s representing less than 10% of the population repectively, resulting in a what we call in statistics a Bell Curve:

You Are In Good Company

We are all part of the continuum. We are one people; Humaninty.

That is all for now. If you have any questions, comments, or want more information you can contact me. I will be back next for our next Blog-lesson on potential and potency. More about me

(For more concrete suggestions, contact me at .)

Additiona Blog-Lessons:


Schreibe einen Kommentar

Deine E-Mail-Adresse wird nicht veröffentlicht. Erforderliche Felder sind mit * markiert