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Making Space Together
This is Sean and we are together again. Our last Blog-Lesson focused on dates and dating. Getting to know one another better. For some of us this phase, at least in theory, is behind us and we have found someone. And our someone has found us as well.
In other words, some of us are in a HHIA Relationship. This relationship status is important to be aware of and to respect. Our relationships provide us with a subject and a regular partner with whom we can explore together. We can explore not only each other but the rest of the world together.
The better you know yourself, the better your relationship with the rest of the world.Toni Collette
Being together with someone is a big part of our relationship goals and efforts. However, once we reach this level in life as in video games and many if not most things, success leads to the next level. On the one hand we have accumulated and collected all of our experiences, memories and emotions and found someone who wants to share them. On the other hand we are confronted with new perspectives, thoughts and feelings outside ourselves and a whole new set of ambitions and purposes.
Being in the Game
At this point in the game of life you and me becomes we and we make choices together as well as separately. We begin to include another person in our decision making and choices. This happens:
- in concert
- in conversation
- menu choices
- after work
- at weekends
- in clear decisions
- through murky suggestions
- with no words at all
- perhaps even automatically, eventually ?
As you get going in the game you just kind of go along and you play the game.Matt Cassel
All previous Blogs still apply. We are just in a more complex situation when we put things into action.
Ultimately, the question is:
How/Where/When do we find space and time for each other in relationship?
Where/When/How do we find space and time for each other in a relationship?
The simple truth is we choose to make time and space for each other. This is true in every relationship form friends and family to romance and even in matrimony!
Communication is key.
- Checking in
- Writing notes
- Asking questions
- Active listening
- Expressing yourself
- Being honest
- Saying yes
- Being clear
- Saying no
- Being real: with yourself and your partner
- Saying maybe, sometimes
We make time for one another in concensus, in dialogue and in our combined/collective schedule.
We make space in the same ways and ultimately make space in our lives for and with each other.
Unique & Opaque
This process is always unique and often opaque to the outside observer. As long as we are clear, satisfied and happy with the space and time we create for each other, we are good.
Next time: relationship time and space when we live together.
This is Sean. Try actively listening to yourself (and to those who are important to you) for a minute, an hour, a day, a week, and see what happens.
(You can always contact me for more concrete suggestions.)
Our earlier Blog-Lessons: