In Between Each Other
Living Together (5)
Sean still here! And right now, we are going to take a look at moving in together and living under one roof. This is a direction many of our relationships take and is supported whole heartily by many of our societies, cultures and traditions, including marriages.
Simultaneously a wonder to explore and a challenge for ourselves and our partners/friends/spouses/families to embrace. In this moment we begin to share not only our lives but our communal space and time as well.
In other words, our sharing becomes shared and our lives tend become a life while our intimacy expands into our daily lives and infuses our time and space with our partners. On the one hand, this can be very comforting. On the other hand, challenges to our patience and understanding are built in to the permanence and constant communal existence. We discover that we are together:
- at home
- in the living room
- on the balcony
- on the sofa
- in the kitchen
- at the stove
- in the fridge
- in bed
- at dinner
- at breakfast
- in the middle of the night
- in the bathroom
- under the shower
- in the mirror
- every day of the week.
Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell.Joan Crawford
This coexistence and cohabitation can simultaneously intensify our feelings and challenge our relationships. However, we find ourselves in an intensified reality with limited opportunity for privacy, solitude or retreat.
Hence, how do we maintain, enjoy and find joy in our relationships while sharing our lives, our space, our time and our privacy? In other words, what happens to our relationships when we cohabitate?
And these questions have been intensified by over a year of social isolation and distancing. Most of us who have been living with our partners/spouses from the beginning of the current pandemic are still here and still surviving and thriving as best we can. As are our friends, lovers and families who live alone or with roommates! AND IT IS OK – to do the best we can. Speaking to each other, to a confidant and to ourselves, and Laughing out loud helps a lot: ?? Smiling does too!
Strategies, action and awareness can be employed at any time in our relationships to improve, refresh, expand, intensify and enhance our experiences with each other. One way to explore this is to take time for each other together. Check out the 5-Minute Exercises (Last Blog-Lesson)!! ?
Love is a decision…not an emotionLao Tzu
When we actively choose to be together and communicate with each other, every and any challenge can be met, addressed and overcome. Often with good humor, happy thoughts and warm fuzzy feelings.
A few daily options include:
- Holding hands
- Smiling at each other
- Air kisses, light kisses, long kisses
- Hugging with your eyes closed
- Saying “I like you” – „I appreciate you“ – “I love you”
- Hugging with your eyes open
- Sharing flowers: real and digital
- Sharing compliments
- Saying „I am sorry“ – „I understand“ – „It’s my fault“ – I’ll try“
- Talking to each other
- Dancing together
- Sitting in silence
- Being together, on purpose
Most important is to find and share the things we enjoy and like about each other and support and encourage those things. Most of the others are less significant and inconsequential when they are address, clarified and understood.
This is Sean. Try saying nice things to yourself (and to those who are important to you) every day this week and see what happens.
(You can always contact me for more concrete suggestions.)
Our earlier Blog-Lessons: