Now lets look at making space and time in our lives when we are living together. Living a life together. After feeling each other out and deciding we fit together. In other words we choose to make a life together and begin to address some of the realer and truer sides of ourselves our partners and our lives.
Subsequently, we begin to share a life. For some of us this includes moving in together and for some of us it means sharing two apartments, houses, living situations, and so. Either way we find ourselves sharing two lives. In this intimate phase of a relationship, we begin to form more routines and processes which begin to revolve around our daily lives, rather than around our building our relationships.
Often, the more time we spend together sharing our lives and our days, the more comfortable we become. People being creatures of comfort and habit can get really comfortable in our communal experiences. Our shared lives become “our life”. And if we aren’t careful our life can fill up with all the little things:
- further education
„Like mothers, taxes are often misunderstood, but seldom forgotten.“Lord Bramwell
Leaving less time and less room for romance.
On the one hand “our life” gets bigger and fuller. On the other hand our HHIA Relationships can be left to fend for itself. And, without enough attention our relationships can get lost in the shuffle or be left out in the cold without us even noticing.
Putting „us“ first… or at least back on the list
So, how do we make space and time for us this great big life we have created?
I know we have heard this before, and yet:
The simple truth is we choose to make time and space for each other. This is true in every relationship form: friends, family, romance, business, partnership and marriage from day one to our diamond anniversaries and beyond!
Science is not only a disciple of reason but, also, one of romance and passion.Stephen Hawking
Here are a few 5-minute exercises to try together (daily, in silence, & preferably mobile/tablet free):
- Holding hands
- Sitting at the table
- Have a coffee or tea
- Eat something
- Sit on the sofa
- Spoon in bed/on the sofa
- Go for a walk
- Almost anything
Just do something together in silence every day, when you can!
Spontaneity is great! However, planning, scheduling and deciding together helps to create purpose intent and awareness which enhances the effect of our togetherness.
All of this helping to create, maintain, encourage and support a physical, bodily comfort and intimacy.
This is Sean. Try doing something with yourself (and to those who are important to you) in silence for 5 minutes every day this week and see what happens.
(You can always contact me for more concrete suggestions.)
Our earlier Blog-Lessons: