Healthy Happy Intimate Adult Relationship

Healthy Happy Intimate HHIA Relationships 46


In Between

Photo by Abhishek Mittal on Scopio

Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.

Albert Einstein

Sean here again! I am back. In the last few Lesson-Blogs we have been exploring some of the ways we connect and encourage intimacy and our HHIA Relationships, including rituals, romance and excitement.

Meeting in the Middle

Once we have established first contact and followed through with first dates, building a bit of devotion and intimacy, it is important for us to meet our partners in the middle. In other words, and getting together and finding a partner is about finding someone with who we can meet in the middle and find balance with.

On the one hand we want to be ourselves and be supported and appreciated. On the other hand, we want our partners to feel safe and encouraged to be themselves and feel supported and appreciated.

„Next to love, balance is the most important thing.“

John Wooden
Photo by Daniela Acero on Scopio

Meet me in the middle

Where do we find balance? Ultimately, we create balance with every choice we make as a both as individuals and as couples:

  • Mine or Yours
  • Going out
  • Staying in
  • Being together
  • Being apart
  • Listening
  • Speaking
  • Bed time
  • Entertainment
  • Food
  • Drink
  • Affection
  • Cleaning
  • Cooking
  • Music
  • Intimacy
  • … Among others
Photo by Rudorwashe Tariro Dziva on Scopio

To begin with, we want to create expectations which both we and our partners can meet. Simply, we want to express our interests and desires to each other. Keeping our expectations and ideals grounded in reality and communication. Again, honesty and candor around our wishes and desires can help us to find the right mix as a couple.

No compromise

Actually, this is about a give and take, experimentation, taking risk and finding rewards with each other. This interaction and exploration encourages us to be even closer and find solutions that work for us.  Strictly speaking, cooperation rather than compromise sets the course for balance in a HHIA Relationship.  

The truth is balance. However the opposite of truth, which is unbalance, may not be a lie.

Susan Sontag

Love Work Balance

Finding a balance is about finding where we are and figuring out where we want to be. When we are feeling out of balance in our relationships, it is important to consider both “where we are” in relation to our partners at the moment and “How did we get here?”. Specifically, we want to consider our choices, actions and reactions that have brought us to this imbalance.  

Photo by Hanny Hsian on Scopio

Seesaw effect

Equilibrium and stability are in constant flux and interaction. Especially as we interact with each other, our responsibilities, our plans, society and the rest of the world. Conversely, the more we try to square, even out, equalize and settle the chaos we often lose sight of the natural ebb and flow of our relationships. This can also be true in our lives in general.

It’s all about quality of life and finding a happy balance between work and friends and family.

Andrew Bernstein
Photo by Miguel Mimoso on Scopio

This is Sean. Try allowing yourself (and those who are important to you) to go with the ebb and flow of your relationships this week and see what happens.

.(You can always contact me for more concrete suggestions.)

Our earlier Blog-Lessons: