Healthy Happy Intimate Adult Relationship

Healthy Happy Intimate HHIA Relationships 41

Creating space: trust

Sean here, back and ready to explore more. We have looked at creating space for our relationships through time. Taking time and making time. We have gone though introductions, first dates, dating, in relationship and living under the same roof. All of these require awareness and time to create, maintain and enhance our HHIA relationships.

J.M. Barrie “All the world is made of faith, and trust, and pixie dust.”

― J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan

On the one hand time is essential to our togetherness. On the other hand, we need more than just time to create intimacy. A sense of security and safe spaces need to be created, shared and enjoyed to develop intimacy in our relationships. And all of this is built on trust.

Photo by Joaquin Vallejo on Scopio

Trust yourself

Hence trust is one of the first building blocks and the foundation of all our relationships. In other words trust is one of the most essential aspects of happy and healthy relationships as well as a significant aspect of intimacy and well-being.

It is important that we trust our ourselves and our partners and that our partners trust us. So, how do we make this happen? We start with:

  • Paying attention
  • Being there
  • Saying what we do 
  • Doing what we say
  • Taking time
  • Asking questions
  • Making time
  • Telling the truth
  • Trusting ourselves
  • Bargaining
  • Making eye contact
  • Opening up
  • Answering questions
  • Showing interest
  • Communicating
  • Meeting our partners where they are; emotionally, physically intellectually, spiritually

Initially, we create a connection. Then over time we strengthen this bond through give & take, trust, communication, and cooperation. Ultimately, we establish trust and security which allows us to feel free to be ourselves, pursue our goals and be the best we can be both individually and together.

Photo by Abhishek Yadav on Scopio

Simply the Best

Ideally, both you and your partner/s support your best selves and can still grow together as your goals and plans consolidate into one. However, this is often a complex process we do simultaneously as we grow individually as well. This is where give & take and trust become vital. We sustain ourselves and our relationships with communication and cooperation.  

Often, as humans, we experience less than ideal moments, decisions, situations and choices. In these moments we can loose sight of our relationship, our relationships goals and advantages. Simultaneously, we find ourselves feeling unsafe or unappreciated and underwhelmed or unsure.  

In…. we trust

In a twinkling of an eye/blink of an eye we can lose the connection, security, and/or intimacy we share. We become you and me. You and I have the option to reestablish our togetherness or resign ourselves to this isolating moment.

In this instant we are tasked with a choice. The choice to trust or to doubt. Depending on our history the focus of this trust and/or doubt can be ourselves, our partner/s or relationship, our choices, our existence and so on. In a single moment and in a history of single moments we create memories and feelings that either support or hinder our trusting natures. In truth we are all experience dishonesty, loss and disappointment at different points in our lives. How we learn and grow through disappointment and loss has a great effect on our HHIA relationships.   

Photo by Joaquin Vallejo on Scopio

Most importantly, communication is the key to positive expression and growth through negative events and experiences. Check out Blog-Lessons 25, 26, 37 and 38 to refresh. ?

Often that communication can be unspoken or silent: Experiment with 5-Minute Exercises in #39.

As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

The choice is yours

Choosing to trust is a dynamic and spirited choice which can offer more options and opportunity than doubt. This includes trust in:

This is true in all the relationships we experience throught our lives.

This is Sean. Try trusting yourself (and to those who are important to you) this week and see what happens.

(You can always contact me for more concrete suggestions.)

Our earlier Blog-Lessons: