Sean here again! Here we are considering how we express ourselves when seeking our attention, affection, intimacy and HHIA relationships.
In other words, we are focusing on who we are and what we share with each other. We have gone through names and naming things, as well as, the types of stories we tell ourselves and others.
As we tell our stories and give names to things it is important to consider the truth of the moment and the intention of our expression. Is our intention to entertain, explain or instruct? What is the background and context of our communication and conversations?
The truth will set you free, but first it will make you miserable.
On the one hand we need to feel safe to express our truth. On the other hand, we need to experience the truth to feel safe with ourselves and others. Unfortunately, we are taught, learn and experience lots of ways to avoid truths we find uncomfortable, unpleasant, vulnerable or exposed.
A variety of methods that we have learned and feel justified to use in our society “to protect ourselves and others from the TRUTH” include:
None of these offer authenticity or encourage trust.
Ultimately, both trust and authenticity are important in creating intimacy and a sense of safety in relationships. These go hand in hand with the truth and being as honest as we can with ourselves and each other.
By being as honest and truthful with each other as we can, we can begin to create truly intimate and enriching experiences together.
That’s all for now!
This is Sean. Tell your truth to yourself and listen to your truth and the truths of those who are important to you this week and see what happens.
On the one hand time is essential to our togetherness. On the other hand, we need more than just time to create intimacy. A sense of security and safe spaces need to be created, shared and enjoyed to develop intimacy in our relationships. And all of this is built on trust.
Hence trust is one of the first building blocks and the foundation of all our relationships. In other words trust is one of the most essential aspects of happy and healthy relationships as well as a significant aspect of intimacy and well-being.
Meeting our partners where they are; emotionally, physically intellectually, spiritually
Initially, we create a connection. Then over time we strengthen this bond through give & take, trust, communication, and cooperation. Ultimately, we establish trust and security which allows us to feel free to be ourselves, pursue our goals and be the best we can be both individually and together.
Ideally, both you and your partner/s support your best selves and can still grow together as your goals and plans consolidate into one. However, this is often a complex process we do simultaneously as we grow individually as well. This is where give & take and trust become vital. We sustain ourselves and our relationships with communication and cooperation.
Often, as humans, we experience less than ideal moments, decisions, situations and choices. In these moments we can loose sight of our relationship, our relationships goals and advantages. Simultaneously, we find ourselves feeling unsafe or unappreciated and underwhelmed or unsure.
In a twinkling of an eye/blink of an eye we can lose the connection, security, and/or intimacy we share. We become you and me. You and I have the option to reestablish our togetherness or resign ourselves to this isolating moment.
In this instant we are tasked with a choice. The choice to trust or to doubt. Depending on our history the focus of this trust and/or doubt can be ourselves, our partner/s or relationship, our choices, our existence and so on. In a single moment and in a history of single moments we create memories and feelings that either support or hinder our trusting natures. In truth we are all experience dishonesty, loss and disappointment at different points in our lives. How we learn and grow through disappointment and loss has a great effect on our HHIA relationships.
Most importantly, communication is the key to positive expression and growth through negative events and experiences. Check out Blog-Lessons 25, 26, 37 and 38 to refresh. ?
Often that communication can be unspoken or silent: Experiment with 5-Minute Exercises in #39.
As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live.