Healthy Happy Intimate Adult Relationship, Uncategorized

Healthy Happy Intimate HHIA Relationships 56

Setting the Tone

Truth or Dare

Sean here again! Here we are considering how we express ourselves when seeking our attention, affection, intimacy and HHIA relationships

In other words, we are focusing on who we are and what we share with each other. We have gone through names and naming things, as well as, the types of stories we tell ourselves and others.  

As we tell our stories and give names to things it is important to consider the truth of the moment and the intention of our expression. Is our intention to entertain, explain or instruct? What is the background and context of our communication and conversations?

Photo by Tariq Keblaoui on Scopio

The truth will set you free, but first it will make you miserable.

James A. Garfield

Your Truth/My Truth

Objectively, there is no such thing as The Truth. At the same time, there is our knowledge, experience, understanding, and perspective. These help to create our “Truth”  

One truth is that we often exaggerate, forget, and/or leave out some details some times. A few questions to help to recognize our own level of trust & truth in our lives are as follows:

  • How often do I recognize and/or convey that I may exaggerate, forget, and/or leave out some details?
  • Are we able to accept the truth for ourselves and each other?  
  • How honest are we with ourselves and our circle of colleagues, family, friends and intimate partners?
  • Do I feel safe to share my truth with my surroundings?
  • Can I hear and accept the truth of those around me?
Photo by Michael Williams Astwood on Scopio

Truth is like the sun. You can shut it out for a time, but it ain’t goin‘ away.

Elvis Presley

Our Truth

On the one hand we need to feel safe to express our truth. On the other hand, we need to experience the truth to feel safe with ourselves and others. Unfortunately, we are taught, learn and experience lots of ways to avoid truths we find uncomfortable, unpleasant, vulnerable or exposed.   

A variety of methods that we have learned and feel justified to use in our society “to protect ourselves and others from the TRUTH” include:

None of these offer authenticity or encourage trust. 

Photo by Kyler Jame on Scopio

Ultimately, both trust and authenticity are important in creating intimacy and a sense of safety in relationships. These go hand in hand with the truth and being as honest as we can with ourselves and each other.

By being as honest and truthful with each other as we can, we can begin to create truly intimate and enriching experiences together.   

That’s all for now!

This is Sean. Tell your truth to yourself and listen to your truth and the truths of those who are important to you this week and see what happens.

(Contact me at for more concrete suggestions.)

Our earlier Blog-Lessons:


Healthy Happy Intimate Adult Relationship

Healthy Happy Intimate HHIA Relationships 41

Creating space: trust

Sean here, back and ready to explore more. We have looked at creating space for our relationships through time. Taking time and making time. We have gone though introductions, first dates, dating, in relationship and living under the same roof. All of these require awareness and time to create, maintain and enhance our HHIA relationships.

J.M. Barrie “All the world is made of faith, and trust, and pixie dust.”

― J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan

On the one hand time is essential to our togetherness. On the other hand, we need more than just time to create intimacy. A sense of security and safe spaces need to be created, shared and enjoyed to develop intimacy in our relationships. And all of this is built on trust.

Photo by Joaquin Vallejo on Scopio

Trust yourself

Hence trust is one of the first building blocks and the foundation of all our relationships. In other words trust is one of the most essential aspects of happy and healthy relationships as well as a significant aspect of intimacy and well-being.

It is important that we trust our ourselves and our partners and that our partners trust us. So, how do we make this happen? We start with:

  • Paying attention
  • Being there
  • Saying what we do 
  • Doing what we say
  • Taking time
  • Asking questions
  • Making time
  • Telling the truth
  • Trusting ourselves
  • Bargaining
  • Making eye contact
  • Opening up
  • Answering questions
  • Showing interest
  • Communicating
  • Meeting our partners where they are; emotionally, physically intellectually, spiritually

Initially, we create a connection. Then over time we strengthen this bond through give & take, trust, communication, and cooperation. Ultimately, we establish trust and security which allows us to feel free to be ourselves, pursue our goals and be the best we can be both individually and together.

Photo by Abhishek Yadav on Scopio

Simply the Best

Ideally, both you and your partner/s support your best selves and can still grow together as your goals and plans consolidate into one. However, this is often a complex process we do simultaneously as we grow individually as well. This is where give & take and trust become vital. We sustain ourselves and our relationships with communication and cooperation.  

Often, as humans, we experience less than ideal moments, decisions, situations and choices. In these moments we can loose sight of our relationship, our relationships goals and advantages. Simultaneously, we find ourselves feeling unsafe or unappreciated and underwhelmed or unsure.  

In…. we trust

In a twinkling of an eye/blink of an eye we can lose the connection, security, and/or intimacy we share. We become you and me. You and I have the option to reestablish our togetherness or resign ourselves to this isolating moment.

In this instant we are tasked with a choice. The choice to trust or to doubt. Depending on our history the focus of this trust and/or doubt can be ourselves, our partner/s or relationship, our choices, our existence and so on. In a single moment and in a history of single moments we create memories and feelings that either support or hinder our trusting natures. In truth we are all experience dishonesty, loss and disappointment at different points in our lives. How we learn and grow through disappointment and loss has a great effect on our HHIA relationships.   

Photo by Joaquin Vallejo on Scopio

Most importantly, communication is the key to positive expression and growth through negative events and experiences. Check out Blog-Lessons 25, 26, 37 and 38 to refresh. ?

Often that communication can be unspoken or silent: Experiment with 5-Minute Exercises in #39.

As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

The choice is yours

Choosing to trust is a dynamic and spirited choice which can offer more options and opportunity than doubt. This includes trust in:

This is true in all the relationships we experience throught our lives.

This is Sean. Try trusting yourself (and to those who are important to you) this week and see what happens.

(You can always contact me for more concrete suggestions.)

Our earlier Blog-Lessons: