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When, Where, How…

Back to the in Between (2)

…and we are back. Sean here with you reviewing our options and strategies for creating, maintaining and/or supporting (repairing) our HHIA Relationships.

Our current relationship status is irrelevant. It is important that we want to make our relationships a priority.

In Time

If we are not in a relationship, then we need to consider who we would like give our time and attention to explore the possibilities.

If we are in a relationship then we want to think about the focus of our time together and apart from our boyfriends, girlfriends, spouses, and/or partners.

On Time…

Time is as much a part of our relationships as love, affection and communication.

On the one hand the time we spend together allows us to share love and affection, as well as, to communicate and share ourselves on the other hand the time we spend together has both limits and boundaries and the quality of our time is affected by the choices we make.

For example, if we only have an hour together, do we:

Cook and eat
order in or grab a bite
watch TV
read silently together
read to each other
play a game
play music
drink a glass of ….
talk
have a laugh
make love

No right or wrong

There is no right/wrong answer. The right answer is what makes you feel closer to your partner: Do you like to play games? Are you foodies? Do you enjoy a good book or poetry? Is music your creative outlet? Are you both cineasts? Can you go on and on about… Are you always in the mood.

Time is the most valuable thing a man can spend.
Theophrastus

As long as you are both “on the same page”. It brings you together. It is important to incorporate a bit of confirmation and communication to ensure that “our time” remains fresh and inspiring to both ourselves and our partners.

Photo by Michael Williams Astwood on Scopio

Quick Question

Sometimes just a quick:

Is this good for you?
Are you having fun?
Are you feeling this?
Would you like to do something else?

can be enough! These can go along way to ensure that our time is encouraging intimacy and togetherness rather than filling the void or space between us.

We can also talk about what we do and what we like and what is on our minds. This is especially true if we begin to feel like we are not enjoying our time an our togetherness as much as we used to. This is also true if we begin to wonder “why?”.

In other words, if we begin to get/be used to each other or our activities begin to be more habit than inspiration, we might want to change things up or at least discuss our feelings.

Attention

When we give out time the attention it deserves we can help to ensure that the time we are able and choose to spend with others encourages and supports the relationships and feelings we have about those with whom we spend our time.

Thus, time is as much an aspect of relationship building and intimacy as much as we allow time for our relationships and intimate experiences.

Using our time is one thing.

Making time is another.

We will tackle this next time.

This is Sean. Try just enjoying your time alone (and with those around you) for a minute, an hour, a day, a week, and see what happens.

Love to hear your thoughts. Till next time! Our earlier Blog-Lessons:

1–2–3–4–5–6–7–8–9–10–11–12–13–14–15–16–17–18–19 –20 –21–22–23–24–25–26–27–28–29–30–31–32–33

Healthy Happy Intimate Adult Relationship, Uncategorized

Healthy Happy Intimate HHIA Relationships 33

Januar 31, 2021Februar 6, 2021 sean

Back to the in Between(1)

Meeting in the Middle

Sean here: Back in the middle and ready to be in the in between. Whether we are meeting someone for the first time, the hundredth time or on our 50^thanniversary. Meeting someone in a mutual space and with common interests is always an opportunity and a challenge.

On the one hand the opportunity is to build and establish more trust and greater respect and closer intimacy. On the other hand, the challenge can be to avoid conflict, unhelpful habits or repeating negative patterns.

All in Common

For too long in this society, we have celebrated unrestrained individualism over common community.
Joe Biden

Our direct communication and active listening skills can help us to establish and/or support trust, respect intimacy and even love. Additionally, our mindset and intentions can assist us in our expression of our common and shared togetherness.

Mind yourself

Mindset and intentions are significant:

You are the most important.
I need…
Do you like me?
Are you right?
Do I want to be right?
No matter what.
Do you want me?
I know what I want.
Is being right more important?
I am unsure.
How invested am I in winning?
Who am I If…?
Am I ok with being wrong and/or apologizing?
Can I be loved and not know the answer?
We are equal and stable together.
And on and on.

Vibrations

How we feel and think about ourselves and the ones we are with comes across. This is true whether we want it to or not. It is noticeable, recognizable and real. If something is not quite right with you or not quite with the ones we are with; we and they can tune in to the “vibe” if we want to.

Our intention and “vibe” can be focused on mutual, common and shared truth and existence. This allows us to be truly together in a space in between our needs, desires, doubts and insecurities. In other words, we can create a space just for us (me and you, you and me, I and the other). In this space we can be ourselves and find each other.

Creating and maintaining this space can take a moment, a while or a lifetime.

Photo by Javier Sanchez Mingorance on Scopio

This depends on the willingness and ability of ourselves and our others to let ourselves just be who we are, when we are, and where we are.

When, where and how we meet in the middle next time.

This is Sean. Try just being with yourself (and those around you) for a minute, an hour, a day, a week, and see what happens.

Love to hear your thoughts. Till next time! Our earlier Blog-Lessons:

1–2–3–4–5–6–7–8–9–10–11–12–13–14–15–16–17–18–19 –20 –21–22–23–24–25–26–27–28–29–30–31–32

Healthy Happy Intimate Adult Relationship, Uncategorized

Healthy Happy Intimate HHIA Relationships 32

Januar 24, 2021Januar 24, 2021 sean

Indirect Communication (3)

Signals

This is Sean. I am back and ready to continue with our discussion on HHIA relationships. We have been exploring communication, both direct and indirect.

Direct communication includes: Eye contact, I statements, asking questions and active listening.

Indirect communication includes cues, hints, signs and signals.

One Two One

One the one hand, direct communication and active listening are ways to encourage trust and intimacy. On the other hand, indirect communication can create confusion, frustration and insecurity. These feelings do not encourage comfort or affection.

Ready, Set, Go

We are ready to take a look at some of the signals we are confronted with every day.

The signals we send and receive every day include:

Traffic lights
Ring Tones
Sirens/Horns
Alarms/Timers
Flags
Blinkers (Turn Signals)
Emojis
Gestures

Ring my Phone

Ring tones are great and there are lots to choose from. But what happens when we give different Apps and different people different tones. Hmm… Sounds like a lot. How do we remember who is who and what is what?

This can also happen in our relationships when we give and/or receive more suggestions and signals rather than clear statements or messages. This can cause confusion and misunderstandings in our intimate relationships.

Intensity like signal strength will generally fall off with distance from the source, although it also depends on the local conditions and the pathway from the source to the point.
Charles Francis Richter

Red & Green

Then there are signals which we are all taught and learn to interact with. A prime example are traffic lights, right? So, traffic lights are “universal” – almost always red and green and often with yellow.

Cherry Green

Consequently, we all know what these lights stand for:

Red = Stop
Yellow = Caution
Green = Go

Ultimately, they are far from absolute in response or reaction. Many if not most people slow down when they see a yellow light. However, some, if not quite a few, people speed up “with caution” to get safely through the light. I even know a driver who believe in the concept „Cherry Green“. In other words, racing through the first seconds of the red light.

Stop-n-Go

Our relationship, romantic and intimate signals can be equally recognized by others and yet be interpreted differently. Thus, we are helping ourselves and our partners when we are able to give clear and concise instructions/ expectations associated with the signals we give. This is especially important around Stop and Go (Yes & No) messages relating to issues of consent and comfort.

Happy Faces

One last, and seemingly omnipresent, „signal“ in todays’ world are emojis. Love them? Hate them? It really doesn’t matter. As texting, SMS, WhatsApp, Messenger, Facebook, Instagram, and other social media and message services on our phones, tablets and computers continue to increase, so do the emojis and like symbols in our daily life. And every so often more of them come into play.

These can be quick and cute and confused. Everyone thinks they know what they mean and how to use them but, do we really? Do we really always know exactly what it being intended, inferenced or alluded to?

Eggplant Parmesan – A quick illustration.

A young woman texts her mom “What’s for Dinner?”
Her mom Replies: ?
Girl Replies “?Yuck… that’s disgusting. We are not having ____ ______ !”
Mom Types “?What!!! We are having Eggplant Parmesan.”
Girl texts: “Mom you are never to use the ? emoji ever again! ?”
(The blank spaces are to comply with the family & google friendly standards. For the solution contact me.)

It turns out the eggplant emoji just as many relationship and romantic visual signals and cues can be interpreted or used for a variety of meanings, not just the obvious ones, by different groups and individuals we interact with.

Cristal

Clarity and the ability to explain what we mean when asked can really support our comfort and tenderness with our partners. Maintaining a bit of humor and a cool head when giving or receiving explanations or corrections of our responses to signals also encourages tender and supportive communication.

Understandably, misinterpretations and a need for clear explanations can occur as we learn and adjust our signals and interpretations. This it true with new partners and with partners as we grow together and enter new phases of relationship.

This is me. Try being clearer with yourself (and those around you) for a minute, an hour, a day, a week, and see what happens.

Love to hear your thoughts. Till next time! Our earlier Blog-Lessons:

1–2–3–4–5–6–7–8–9–10–11–12–13–14–15–16–17–18–19 –20 –21–22–23–24–25–26–27–28–29–30–31

Healthy Happy Intimate Adult Relationship, Uncategorized

Healthy Happy Intimate HHIA Relationships 31

Januar 17, 2021Januar 17, 2021 sean

Indirect Communication (2)

This is Sean, back in the saddle and ready to ride, so to speak.

We are together again. After exploring some verbal communication that can be less than helpful; hints, clues, etc.

This time we are going to peak into the potential pitfalls of signs and signals when trying to communicate and understand each other.

Signs of the Times

“Smiling is sometimes the sign of invitation, but do not take it seriously if it is only someone’s habit.”
Ehsan Sehgal

In other words, we can look at the signs in our lives and consider how well they inform us about the world around us. Signs we are considering include:

Stop Signs
Speed Limit Signs
Animal X-ing
Children at Play

Traffic signs are generally understood as being internationally understood. However, the German word for traffic is also used for intercourse. Stop signs are pretty clear but many if not most of our traffic signs are open to interpretation. This is also true of the signs we experience in our intimate lives as well.

Traffic

Speaking of traffic signs, most of these are related to potential, in both directions (more/less, faster/slower). And, there are often more than one sign posted together. This suggests that the sign is not expressing exactly what is happening when we see the signs. A good example of these are the animal crossing and children signs. The truth is that there might be animals and/or children. The message is more accurately pay attention than „children at play“ or „Bear Crossing“. This often leave us to our own devices and expects us to understand and react “accordingly“. Hence, we are responsible for our reaction and the result. This can be a heavy burden in the bedroom. We can avoid being singularly responsible and absolutely to blame by actively communicating and actively listening to each other.

Seen the sign

We have seen the sign(s) and we are expected to act accordingly. On the one hand this can be helpful for further exploration, on the other hand there are no definite or clear instructions/ direction. Through active listening and asking questions we can confirm our understanding of the signs we see.

and then there is also:

Advertising
Bilboard
Posters
Labels

Want Ads

Looking at advertising we have to remember that the advertiser is both attempting to inspire a reaction and a result. Thus, the message is often full of “meaning” and inference.

Form and Function

This meaning and inference is often culturally and socially specific and can be easily misunderstood. Let`s consider the experience of an American baby food company which tried to break into the African Market. The company’s very successful strategy and marketing included picture of beautiful pink smiling babies on the jars. Unfortunately, African food labels on cans and jars are known to picture the contents. Hence the African shoppers thought the jars contained babies as food!

Steer Clear

Considering how devasting such a misunderstanding can be in our relationships. It is always a good idea to discuss and actively interpret the signs you and your partner use with one another; together. This can be done often. Some signs and interpretations and meanings can change over time. The clearer we are with each other, the better our communication and intimacy can flow.

This is Sean. Try being kinder to yourself (and those around you) for a minute, an hour, a day, a week, and see what happens.

Love to hear your thoughts. Till next time! Our earlier Blog-Lessons:

1–2–3–4–5–6–7–8–9–10–11–12–13–14–15–16–17–18–19 –20 –21–22–23–24–25–26–27–28–29–30

Healthy Happy Intimate Adult Relationship, Uncategorized

Healthy Happy Intimate HHIA Relationships 28

Dezember 30, 2020März 14, 2021 sean

In Between

Laughter is the closest distance between two people.
Victor Borge

Sean – in the mix. Whether we are expressing ourselves or actively listening, the in between is where we begin to share and create trust and intimacy.

Just as with our intentions and actions, the intention is the beginning. The action is our attempt to express our intention. Then our partner’s reception and interpretation of our action is the result. Hence, what we create between us is key to the positive expression, reception and interpretation of both actions and intention.

What else is there?

In other words, the world we exist in is subjective and our perspective and interpretation of the world is based on our experiences. This is also true for your romantic interest(s), your girl-/boy-friend, your partner(s) and spouse.

The more positive input we have and try to put into the world around us results in a safer and more trusting environment. This environment is the space between ourselves and others.

Affirmative

In other words, maintaining our affirmative ambiance/atmosphere can be supported by the following:

Being nice to ourselves
Forgiving ourselves and others
Considering that most people are doing the best they can, in the moment, including ourselves

On the one hand the more positive we make our environment, the more attractive our environment becomes, on the other hand the more attractive our environment is the more we experience positivity.

Some ways of insinuating positivity in to your environment include:

Smiling
Eye contact
Active listening

Ultimately encouraging more communication between ourselves and others.

Talking

Naturally, we find it easier to talk with people who exist in and are creating a similar atmosphere.

Communication and understanding can become a little bit more challenging or strained when we have different backgrounds, upbringings, and perception of the world around us.

Hence, to improve are chances of both understanding being understood we can use active listening and positive expression to encourage a “trusting and save” “in between” each other as we communicate.

Attraction

Attraction may be a completely different experience. When we are attracted to someone who is creating a different vibe than we are used to, it can be intimidating or interesting. Both can initiate excitement.

At the same time, when we meet someone who wants to share our space or even participate in creating it. Feeling the same and/or responding in kind can be a first step. And then, we are on our way to creating a relationship space.

It can be helpful to remember that our relationships exist both within our hearts and heads, as well as, outside ourselves in a realm of their own; in the in between.

This is Sean. Try being nice to yourself for a week, a day, an hour, a moment, and see what happens.

Love to hear your thoughts. Till next time! Our earlier Blog-Lessons:

1–2–3–4–5–6–7–8–9–10–11–12–13–14–15–16–17–18–19 –20 –21–22–23–24–25–26–27

Healthy Happy Intimate Adult Relationship, Uncategorized

Healthy Happy Intimate HHIA Relationships 27

Dezember 20, 2020Dezember 20, 2020 sean

Active Listening

Sean, here again: Are you listening? We have been talking about actively expressing ourselves and now we are going to talk about active listening.

One word, one thought at a time

Right after expressing ourselves, comes paying attention to the response of others to our expressions. On the one hand we are responsible for sharing ourselves, our thoughts and our feelings and on the other hand we have the opportunity to experience another’s self, thoughts and feelings when we actively listen.

Dialogue

If we take the opportunity and handle it with care. We can allow a conversation to become a true dialogue. Where we actively support our conversation partner and allow them to share in a safe space.

Actively Passive

We have two ears and one mouth, so we should listen more than we say.
Zeno of Citium, as quoted by Diogenes Laërtius

Essentially taking the communication ideas from Blog-Lesson 25 & 26 and applying them to listening rather than speaking:

Eye contact,
Body language,
making I statements like I am hearing…, I understand….
Asking suitable questions

Passively active

Further techniques to encourage our partners to share include:

Patience,
Smiling,
Mirroring,
Paraphrasing,
Neutral Responses,
Reflecting,
Summarizing
More…

Benefits

One of the greatest benefits of actively listening is being able to understand and really hear your conversation partner. In other words, you create a space in time where and when you are both able to hear and be heard in a way that encourages trust, support, intimacy and authenticity.

Hence the beginning of establishing potential for more, more conversation, more intimacy and even more authenticity.

If you are ready, willing and able to actively listen, then perhaps you are also ready willing and able to authentically share a dialogue with the ones you are with.

I encourage you to take a chance and make a moment to try out some of these techniques with someone you care about. See how is goes. I would love to hear about your process.

This is Sean signing off.

Your thoughts? Till next time! Our earlier Blog-Lessons:

1–2–3–4–5–6–7–8–9–10–11–12–13–14–15–16–17–18–19 –20 –21–22–23–24–25–26

Healthy Happy Intimate Adult Relationship, Uncategorized

Healthy Happy Intimate HHIA Relationships 26

Dezember 13, 2020Dezember 13, 2020 sean

Express Yourself (2)

This is Sean again. I am back with you to continue our exploration of initial communication. After our last Blog-lesson where we looked at eye contact and body language. Now it is time to consider our words.

Use your words

There are two basic communication building blocks we need to consider.

One the one hand knowing what you want to say and on the other hand knowing how to say what you want to say. These two things are most important to achieve good communication. This is why we have been looking at ourselves and exploring what is important for us.

What

Hence, we are aware and have considered our own likes, attractions, feelings and desires.

(You can go back to earlier blog lessons to further explore these things.)

How

First, be clear about what you want to say: feelings, thoughts, etc.
Second, make eye contact, use body language and be aware your posture (See Blog 25).
Third use “I sentences…”

I think, therefore I am.
René Decartes

– I am, therefore I communicate…

A great way to express ourselves are “I statements”. In other words, using these are a way of expressing ourselves and owning our thoughts and feelings. It is a way of sharing ourselves without giving away our responsibility or our power.

A few examples include:

I believe…
I think…
When… I feel…
I am …
What I like…
I would like…

Questions?

The important thing is not to stop questioning.
Albert Einstein
Quotemaster

After, or even before, sharing ourselves, we can ask questions. Questions show interest and encourage others to share themselves with us. Questions can be open or closed, leading or not.

Some Questions:

Open:

Who……?
What……?
Where……?
When……?
Why……?
How……?
Which……?

Closed:

Do you……?
Did you……?
Will you……?

Leading:

Have you………?
Have you ever……?

When you ask a question, be sure to listen to your partner’s answer. Then you respond with another question or an I statement of your own. By listening to your partners words, looking them in the eye and responding “on topic” , you create a communal space. Hence, a mix of questions and I statements can create a lively and really fun interaction and maybe even spark an interest that wasn’t there to begin with.

Take a minute or two and practice this kind of interaction with a friend. Do this with someone you like, trust or know well to practice. And let me know how it goes and what you think. This is Sean wishing you all the best.

Your thoughts? Till next time! Our earlier Blog-Lessons:

1–2–3–4–5–6–7–8–9–10–11–12–13–14–15–16–17–18–19 –20 –21–22–23–24–25

Healthy Happy Intimate Adult Relationship

Healthy Happy Intimate HHIA Relationships 25

Dezember 6, 2020Dezember 7, 2020 sean

Express yourself (1)

Here we are again! This is Sean and I am here to say “We are on our way!” If you have been following this Blog-Lesson series then you have done the work on yourself with yourself! Consequently, we are now ready to share what we have learned and who we are with the world. In other words it is time to consider and explore communication.

I contact – eye contact.

Do you look people in the eye? If you want someone’s attention, give it a try. People are attracted to and captivated by our eyes. Their shape, color and sparkle.

“I like you; your eyes are full of language.“
[Letter to Anne Clarke, July 3, 1964.]”
― Anne Sexton

On one hand our eyes are one of our most sensitive sensory organs. On the on other hand our eyes are connected directly to our brains. In other words, they are also the window to our souls. They show us how we are feeling and express something beyond words.

Mirror

Exercise1: Start with yourself..

Look at yourself in the mirror
Look directly at your eyes
Observe their shape and their color
Can you see the whites of your eyes?
Roll your eyes and look at how they move
Watch them move, what do you see
Peek deeper into your eyes
See your pupils are they big, small or in between…
Look at your irises: blue, grey, green, golden or dark brown
Look for the fire, the glint the energy and enthusiasm.
Smile!!
Look again and see the smile in your eyes.

Everyone else sees this too! At least those who are paying attention. Get people attention by looking into their eyes.

An Eye for an Eye

Experiment: Start with friends, family, neighbors and co-workers. You will find they will notice, listen and be more attentive to you when you take a moment, stop and look them in the eye. Additionally, this seemingly small action encourages respect and consideration of the message and presence of others.

I look forward to hearing about your experiences.

Body Body

We have talked about caring for our bodies and hygiene. We have explored how our bodies feel and how we feel when we touch our own bodies. Hence, it is time to consider our bodies are also one of our first transmitters of information and communication. Furthermore, our bodies are a communication tool.

Mirror Mirror

Exercise 2: Find a full-length mirror.

Stand in front of the mirror.
Look at yourself.
Turn to the left.
Look again.
Turn to the right.
Look again.
Spin all the way around while looking at yourself

What do you see? How is your posture? Where are your shoulders arm, hands? Are you standing up straight or slouching? Do you feel balanced? Are you stable on four feet/in your shoes? Do you like what you have on? Do you have anything on? Are you alone in private or in a public space?

Strike a Pose

A good stance and posture reflect a proper state of mind.
Morihei Ueshiba

Exercise3: Posture

Stand in front of the mirror.
Look at yourself straight on.
Lift up your chin and look up.
Bring your eyes back down.
Lower your chin until it is parallel to the ground.
Looking at yourself roll your shoulder upwards and backwards until the sit slightly behind your armpits. Feel your body.
Pull in your stomach and push your hips forwards.
Observe yourself.
How do you look now?

Do you see a difference? How much of a difference? Do you like the difference? Each of these exercises can be done with or without a mirror. And can help us to be more aware of how we present ourselves to others in our surroundings. Try lifting your chin and rolling your shoulders before addressing a family member or a colleague and look them in the eye. See if this affects how the react and respond to you in the moment.

Let me know ? what you think.

That is all for this time. Three exercises and two experiments are more than enough for one read. I wish you all the best in your explanations and communications. This is Sean “Be nice to you, please.”

Your thoughts? Till next time! Our earlier Blog-Lessons:

1–2–3–4–5–6–7–8–9–10–11–12–13–14–15–16–17–18–19 –20 –21–22–23–24

Healthy Happy Intimate Adult Relationship, Uncategorized

Healthy Happy Intimate HHIA Relationships 24

November 29, 2020November 29, 2020 sean

Do you, do you?

Sean here again. We have been doing this for just about 6 months we are 2 Blog-Lessons away from the halfway point in this Blog-Lesson One Year Series! Happy Healthy Intimate Adult Relationships! So let’s get back on the horse and take a look at ourselves, an honest look at our authentic selves.

How do you do?

Now, it is time to introduce ourselves to ourselves, to be true to ourselves and allow our true selves to be present. In other words: Do you, do you? How do you do you? When do you do you? Who are you? In this vein, it is important to consider our thoughts and feelings about ourselves. It is important to think about how we appreciate ourselves and how critical we can be. Most often we are our greatest critics and judges. It is important for us to learn to be our greatest supporter and fan. It is thought selflove and appreciation that we learn to be good lovers, friends and partners in healthy and happy relationships.

Truth and Consequences

Consequently, we can learn to recognise when we get stuck in a loop or a negative thought processes. These come from words or experiences in our past and they can become a significant although unauthentic part of how we act and who believe we are. These are often stories we tell ourselves and others about us without realizing they are not the stories or truths we are and want to be.

Naming Names

First thoughts when you hear “Who are you?”. Do you think about your name, your job title or your relationship status?
Secondly when you think about your name – What does it mean to you? Do you prefer your first name, middle name (if you have one) you family name or a nickname perhaps?
Finally, what is your favorite name? Is it your own?

Names are an integral part of our identities and a very important part of who we are. BTW – Naming ourselves is a very powerful aspect of our existence which is often overlooked.

Rose is a rose….

Rose is a rose is a rose is a rose
Loveliness extreme.
Extra gaiters,
Loveliness extreme.
Sweetest ice-cream.
Pages ages page ages page ages.
Gertrude Stein’s poem Sacred Emily

Whatever our “official/legal” names are we tend to find ways to create our own truth and meaning though our names and the names we call ourselves, the names others call us and the names we give others either as groups or individuals. We and the world, as a society, cultures, groups, couples and individuals differentiate between ourselves and others with names.

Thus, we call ourselves and others the things we want them to be and we call ourselves the things we want to be or the things we have been taught to be.

Are you authentic to yourself?

Do you like yourself? This is a place to start. It is important to identify the things about ourselves that we like. One the one hand we can name five things we like about ourselves and on the other hand we can name five things that others have said the like about us.

I Like: _______________ Others Like:____________

____________________ 1._____________________
____________________ 2._____________________
____________________ 3._____________________
____________________ 4._____________________
____________________ 5. _____________________

Take a look – Do they match or are they complementary or are the completely separate and different from one another?

Think about your names! Reflect on the things you like about yourself. Are there more. Contemplate what others like about you. Are they really you- Are these things you like about yourself? Consider you, yourself and your thoughts and feelings! Relase yourself and allow the authenticity to enter.

This is Sean signing off with this thought.

The World belongs to those who let go.
Lao Tzu – https://www.theschooloflife.com/thebookoflife/the-great-eastern-philosophers-lao-tzu/

Your thoughts? Till next time! Our earlier Blog-Lessons:

1–2–3–4–5–6–7–8–9–10–11–12–13–14–15–16–17–18–19 –20 –21–22–23

Healthy Happy Intimate Adult Relationship, Uncategorized

Healthy Happy Intimate HHIA Relationships 23

November 22, 2020November 29, 2020 sean

Touch

From Head to Toe

Welcome Back! Sean Here – I hope you enjoyed our body exercises last time. Becoming aware of our bodies and our touch can be an interesting and enriching experience. Our bodies are both our „temples and our „playgrounds“. Therefore we are also encouraged to play with/in and enjoy our bodies as well.

I touch myself

In this vein, we are going to go through a touching exercise. We are going to be activily touching and passively being touched over our entire bodies. We can go though the exercise playfully and with self-love. You can be comfortably dressed or undressed. It is all up to you! I would suggest reading through the entire exercise before starting. Then, go for it! Be affectionate to you:

We are going to start out standing or sitting confortably.
Place your hands on the top of your head.
Lay them there and close your eyes.
Feel your crown, your hair, your hands.
Feel your hands on your head.
Caress, pat or reposition your hands on your head.
Do this with more and less pressure;
add some pressure and lighten the pressure a few times.

Face

What do you feel on your head and in your hands? Do you like the way it feels?

Now touch your face.
Your forehead, your nose,
Caress your cheeks and your jaw and your chin.
Lay your hands flat, feel them, let them feel you.
Let your fingers trace and explore your face.
Adjust the pressure from light to firm and back again. How does all of this feel: in your hands, on your fingers and on your face.

How does all of this feel: in your hands, to your fingers and on your face?

Neck

Clasp your fingers around the back of your neck.
Hold your hands to your neck.
Loosen your fingers and cares your neck and throat.
Slide your hands around your throat and neck from the base of your skull to your shoulders, from your collar bone up to your chin.

What do you feel on your neck, your throat. How do you feel in your hands? Do you like it? Do you enjoy your own touch? The way you feel.

Chest, Arms

Lay your hands on your chest.
Let your fingers touch your chest, your nipples.
Run them over your chest, across, under your arms into your armpits.
Rub them over your shoulders,
Along your arms down to your elbows, fore arms and your hands.
Let your hands move back up along your wrists, fore arms elbows, shoulders and back to your chest.

How does all of this feel: in your hands, to your fingers and on your chest, arms and hands? Are you enjoying the affection?

Hips, heels

Let your hands travel from your chest to our belly.
Rub your belly.
Let your hands flow around your belly
Move them up and down your flank from your ribs to your hips.
Let your hands flow to your lower back.
Run them along your hips.
Trace your fingers across your upper thighs and into your lap.
Caress your legs and touch your pelvis.
Let your hands rest in your lap.

How does all of this feel: in your hands, to your fingers and on your belly, your lower back and in your lap. Do you like your touch? Do you like being touched? Are you enjoying the affection? How do you feel to yourself?

Legs

Move your hands along your inner thighs to your knees.
Trace your fingers and hand around your knee.
Glide them behind your knees.
Slide along your outer thigh up to your buttom/buttocks.

What do you feel on your legs, knees, bottom, and in your hands? Do you like the way this feels?

Feet

Run your hands back down the back/side of your legs to your calves.
Caress your claves, your shins.
Hold your Ankles.
Sit or lie down.
Take one foot in your hand.
Rub your foot.
Trace your heal and toes with your fingers.
Touch the top of your foot.
Release and Relax.

Take a moment and reflect on your experience, your thoughts and feeling.

(The lists, exercises, and these blog-lessons are maintained in a google and family friendly format. For more information, vocabulary, more intimate or direct language, please contact me.)

I hope your exploration and excursion along your body was adventurous and a pleasure. If anything was uncomfortable or tense, you can try the entire exercise or just one section more slowly. You can also try being firmer or gentler with your touch. Have fun and play with yourself. 🙂

It would be great to hear your thoughts. Have a great day.

This is Sean signing off. Till next time.

Our earlier Blog-Lessons –1–2–3–4–5–6–7–8–9–10–11–12–13–14–15–16–17–18–19 –20 –21–22