In the Zone (Our Senses)
And we are back! This is Sean and we are exploring our senses in our HHIA relationships. Our senses include touch, sight, sound, taste and smell! We have looked at touch, including several exercises we can experience with our partners and ourselves. These exercises help us to enhance and support our intimacy and pleasure.
Again, all of the exercises we are exploring can be experienced with a partner and/or solo.
This time we are going to expound on two senses which are more easily modulated and more readily experience without control in our daily lives. In other words we are going to talk about sight and sound. Sight is almost automatic for most of us. We can adjust the light or close our eyes if we want to, however most of the time our eyes are open and we are exposed to the world around us. This is part of most of our waking lives.
In order for the light to shine so brightly, the darkness must be present.Francis Bacon
5 minutes of Visual Intimacy
This is another simple silent exercise. We can share a visual intimacy with a partner or ourselves with minimal preparation and scheduling. In just 5 minutes we can find a safe space, calm and visual intimacy. Simply put, we can schedule a 5 minute window and be: together with ourselves and/or our partners. With a partner the physical component can include:
- looking into each other’s eyes
- smiling at each other
- make faces at each other
- taking turns closing our eyes
- allowing our partner to observe us; our posture and features
- adjust the light –
- the dark
- overhead lights
- candle light
- screen light
This can include any light sources you may have and wish to share.
Contemplation & Comfort
Contemplate the effect of different light on our comfort, our eyes and our partners. If we are playing solo, then we can use a mirror and express/experience all of the same practice with ourselves. Ultimately, it is most important that we enjoy the silence; together.
(If 5 minutes seems daunting, start with 1 minute and increase the number of minutes over time.)
What is important is the intention and commitment to the process and not the time itself. In other words, counting the seconds and “watching the clock” to ensure that we make it to 5 minutes minimizes the intimate effect of the experience.
There are a variety of way to express ourselves with our voices.
In other words, we have a great many of options when exploring sound and pleasure with our partners and ourselves.
Testing, testing,… one two three
Sitting together in a quiet space, we can explore the sound of our voice and how it feels to make and hear the sounds that come out of our mouths. We can:
- Speak softly
- Speak loudly
- Read out loud
- Recite poetry or prose
- an so on…
After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music.Aldous Huxley
Another option we have to share with ourselves and our partners is music.
We can experience music together or solo: We can share: favorite songs, bands, genres. Adjust volume, treble and base. Listen to spoken word, audiobooks, podcasts, or radio plays. All of these can be both enriching and enlightening as we learn more and more about each other, ourselves and our preferences and passions.
One the one hand we want to share ourselves and our experiences. On the other hand we want to experience our partner, their preferences and pleasures. Auditory exchange is a great way to do this. Keep in mind that sharing and discussing our preferences and pleasures is always a positive experience for a relationship. This is true whether our preferences, passions and pleasures are shared in the moment or not. Ultimately, the creation of a communicative and safe mutual environment for ourselves and our partners is priceless.
All the activities described can be utilized at any time and anywhere we feel safe and supported by our partners. In other words, once we have established trust and respect in our relationships, we can whisper sweet nothings, look into each other’s eyes, smile at each other, listen to each other, share our thoughts and ideas any where and any time. So take a chance and try telling each other… something special.
This is Sean. Try sharing some time and something special with yourself (and those who are important to you) this week and see what happens.
(You can always contact me for more concrete suggestions.)
Our earlier Blog-Lessons: