Setting the tone
A self-made man may prefer a self-made name.Learned Hand
This is Sean! We are here to explore how we express ourselves and communicate with others in our pursuit of attention, affection, intimacy and relationship (even HHIA Relationships). In other words we are going to be looking at who we are and how we share this with others.
As with most relationships, most interactions begin with eye or physical contact and then perhaps a face?and/or gesture. These are most commonly followed by one or a few words.
This sound relatively simple. However, words can be a tricky thing. On the one hand, words require breathing, mouth gymnastics, vocal expression and intention. And on the other hand, we need both ear and auditory function as well as cognitive understanding of the language being projected at us.
First words can range from:
- What is going on?
- What’s up?
- How are you?
- Wie geht’s?
- Como esta?
- Excuse me
And that’s just a few of the top of my head. In fact, we are constantly being exposed to input from the world around us. And, simultaneously, we are in constant competition with the world around us for the attention, recognition and understanding of those around us.
Honestly, words, tone and volume make a big impression. As do vocabulary, pronunciation and accents. No one can guarantee which ones work best with whom. However, we can get a feel for a variety of things through practice and experimentation with volume, speed and repetition.
I read in a book once that a rose by any other name would smell as sweet, but I’ve never been able to believe it. I don’t believe a rose WOULD be as nice if it was called a thistle or a skunk cabbage.L.M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables
Once we have gotten through our first encounter, we tend to continue to interact and often exchange information. Our Name is among the first pieces of information we often share.
Names are a funny thing. We have all kinds of names and significators which help people to identify and interact with us. These include:
- First Names
- Given Names
- Middle Names
- Family Names
- Maiden Names
- Noms de Plume
- Pet Names
- and more…
As much as we may enjoy names and naming, it is important that we listen to our partners and ourselves as we consider what we choose to call ourselves and one another.
It ain’t what they call you, it’s what you answer to.W.C. Fields
That’s all for now!
This is Sean. Think about what people call you… try perhaps a new name, title or pronoun on for size for yourself (and pay attention to the names of those who are important to you) this week and see what happens.
(Contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org for more concrete suggestions.)
Our earlier Blog-Lessons: