Schlagwort: intimate

Female, Male, In, Out & In Between (2)

This is Sean back for more exploration about Happy Healthy Intimate Adult HHIA Relationships . And my first impulse is:

“Let’s Get Physical”

Moving Away from social constructs (Lesson 4), let’s talk a bit about the physicality of our bodies and the bodies of those we are attracted to:

Kamasutra

Size, for example, is a fact not a value or preference in the Kamasutra. People are described as coming in essentially three sizes. These sizes in the Kamasutra refer primarily to our genitals. From largest to smallest, the sizes for women are poetically named; the Elephant, the Mare and the Gazelle. Men are referred to as Stallions, Bulls and Rabbits respectively.  Diversity is something to be celebrated!

Hopefully, we are attracted to and interested in more than our partners genitals for our HHIA Relatiohsips.  Our potential partners are complete and whole individuals in their own right.  

Physicality

So, let’s explore some other physical attributes from top to bottom, head to toe!

Take a moment and ask yourself: Physically, who am I? What do I physically like about myself? How am I physically attracted to others?

• Head & Hair – Do you like hair long or short, thick or thin, curly or straight, Blond, Red, Brown, Black or Grey… Shaved perhaps?
• Neck & Shoulders – Do you like a long neck, an Adam’s Apple, or broad shoulders?
• Chest & Breasts – Are you attracted to large or small nipples, pecs or breasts?
• Waist & Belly – Are you attracted to a two pack,four pack, six-pack, love handles, or maybe a big belly, „something to hold on to?
• Arms & Hands – Do your eyes twinkle when you see biceps, tendons or nail polish?
• Hips & Bum – Do you like a big butt or a itty bitty bum or maybe a hard ass?
• Legs & Feet – Are you a friend of long slender or short stock legs? What about feet? Do you like to see a bit of toe nail varnish?
• Skin & Body Hair – Do you prefer pale, alabaster or tanned skin? Do you like freckles? Are you a fan of tattoos? What’s your take on body hair; do you go „au naturel“ or are you into shaving, waxing, and sugaring?

What do you think?

There you are – All of the above have to do with our perceptions of ourselves and others. They have everything to do with our bodies and nothing to do with the genitals of our partner or ourselves.  We are all attracted to different human bodies and a great variety of aspects of those bodies.

In addition to a body we have all got personality, intellect, humor, style,  charm, etc. We will be exploring lots of these things plus others in the Blog-lessons to come as we explore our HHIA Relationships.

That is all for now. If you have any comments, questions or want more information you can contact me I will be back for our next Blog-lesson considering consent. More about me

Female, Male; In, Out and In Between (1)

We are back for Blog-lesson number 4: Female, Male, In, Out and In Between (1). This is Sean and I am excited to continue our exploration of our expression and attraction to ourselves and others.

After discussing the continuum of attraction and the works of Alfred Kinsey in Blog-Lesson 2, we can now explore the continuum of gender to which we are attracted. And where we find ourselve, as well.

At first glance female and male appear to be opposites and completely different from one another. At a second glance even the biology of our species shows us something completely different.  

Gender Genetically Speaking

Genetically, and generally, speaking, our understanding today, is that gender starts with a chromosome pair XX-Female and XY-Male, respectively. In other words, genetically, 2 X’s develop into a female body and and an X and a Y create a male body per our current genetic understanding.

At the same time this is only one the of 23 chromosome pairs in the Human DNA. As such the 22 Chromosomal pairs complete the DNA, building block, of each individual, the foundation of the person we become. Then there are are also variations of multiple X and Y chromosomes.

The Female Truth

In addition the basic truth about gender development is that the Y chromosome is the initiator and catalyst for the development which modifies an embryo to create a boy. And yet, the Y chromosome is still one half of a pair (XY). In other words, we all have an X chromosome, start out female and remain at least 50% female our entire lives. Let that sink in.

A Spectrum

Gender Roles, masculinity and femininity can also be seen as a spectrum in a variety of aspects and degrees of experience. These include individual, familial, societal and cultural aspects and eperiences. Then we incorporate our physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual development on top and in between. There is great variation in our experience of ourselves physically, psychologically, socially and culturally. Therefore to explore your personal relationship to masculinity and femininity, I would suggest a system of questions similar to the ones in Blog-Lesson 2 using masculinity and femininity (See Definitions) on a scale with two sets of questions about your expression and attraction:

Questions For You

Then put the answer to each question into the scale below:

Then just add the answers together (EXPRESSION and then ATTRACTION separately) and divide by four to get an idea of how you see yourself and those you are attracted to on a wholistic continuum of masculine and feminine ideals, your ideal expression and attraction. 

And there you have it : „Lesson 4“ Take a minute and explore how you see yourself and the people around you. That is all from me for now. If you have any questions or want more information you can contact me. I will be back for our next Blog-lesson where we will talk more about the physicality of attraction. More about me

Sean here again! After our last Blog-Lesson on who and how. This is our third Blog-Lesson. This time we are going to explore the intensity of our interests and attractions. Lets start with a couple of words which all come from the same beginning.

Potential, Potency, Potent

Potent, potency and potential all come from the same root, poti* (etymonline.com) an Indo-European root meaning powerful.  Power is something we will discuss later at length.  For now, let’s let the „power” in potency, potent and potential refer to an individual power which comes from within. 

In TCM (Traditional Chinese Medicine) the idea of power and life force are named qi or chi, pronouned / ˈchē / , which is associated with life, energy, breath, nutrition, and bodily fluids. The maintenance of individual health and energy comes through both original qi (from birth) and the creation of qi through nutrition and a balanced physical reality.  

Balancing Other Impulses

When thinking about an encounter, a relationship, an affair, etc., we are all aware that such interactions require a certain amount of energy. How much energy we have to assign to the adventure of meeting and greeting, courting and creating a relationship is directly related to our mental and physical health, as well as, the stability and balance of our lives.

This is all to say that each of us is unique and therefore has a personal and individual interest and energy level to devote to finding a partner for an encounter, friendship, romance or relationship.

As a result, our specific needs and individual energy levels must be acknowledged and considered with regard to both ourselves and our potential partners.

Being Balanced, Creating Potential

If you are feeling under the weather, unfit – physically or mentally, out of balance, your energy and focus on finding and developing an HHIA relationship can be a challenge.  Other factors which can affect our ability to establish ourselves as available and/or interested can be physical, psychological, or social. For instance hygiene, nutrition, sleep exercise, stress and economic situations:

• Hygiene is important so that we can look and feel our best – fresh and healthy. A lack of hygiene, showering, brushing our teeth, cleaning our skin and hair can encourage socially undesirable results. These include, odor, acne, fungus, sores and sensitive gums and teeth among other things.
• Nutrition is important for maintaining our energy levels, our bodily-fitness and general wellbeing.
• Sleep is when, and how, we process and recover from the stress and experiences of the day. A good night’s sleep helps us to feel rejuvenated and alert.  Being alert helps us to focus on what we desire.
• Exercise helps us to overcome physical, emotional and psychic stress. This includes keeping our physical system in shape and allowing energy for activity which encourages amorous interest.
• Stress is a factor which is often uncontrollable. We can however manage it through sleep, nutrition, and exercise. What is important is not to push ourselves too hard in one direction or another. A little trust and patience can go a long way to reduce and manage stress.
• Economics is an aspect of modern life and should be acknowledged. Economics can be negotiated and positively affect our interactions.

A Balancing Act

It can be helpful to regularly take a minute to contemplate the above and check out our relationship to those things, relationships and people in our lives that support our balance. And in reflection, those things, relationships and people which pull us off balance. They tend to be universal and unique at the same time. We are all continuously balancing the internal and external aspects of our lives and relationships. It is human nature. Maintaining a blancing act is essential to the art of existence.

That is all for now. If you have any questions, comments, or want more information you can contact me. I will be back next time for our next Blog-lesson on female and male stuff“. More about me