Healthy Happy Intimate Adult Relationship

Healthy Happy Intimate HHIA Relationships 63

Maintaining the Vibe

Romancing

Romance:

1) to exaggerate or invent detail or incident

2) to entertain romantic thoughts or ideas

3) to try to influence or curry favor with someone through flattery, personal attention and/or gifts

4) to carry on a “love affair”

paraphrased from Merriam Webster

Sean, back again! We are expanding our investigation of our exchanges and quest for connection, affection, and passion in our HHIA relationships.    

In other words, we are considering who we are and who we want to be with each other on our journey towards love, lust and appreciation with one another.

Our relationships are more than just making date, hanging out, and fooling around. Actually, a big part of our time and effort in our relationships is, at least in the beginning, about creating a feeling, encouraging affection, comfort and attraction of/from our significant partners and love interests. ?

Photo by willow mcdonough on Scopio

A tramp, a gentleman, a poet, a dreamer, a lonely fellow, always hopeful of romance and adventure.

Charlie Chaplin

Romance Recall

Most of us refer to or recall this as romance! On the one hand, the romantically challenged do their best not to miss romantic gestures completely or mistake them for humor, satire or sarcasm. On the other hand, the romantically gifted find flattery attention and gift giving to be an art and honor whether they are on the giving or receiving side of things at any given moment.  

However, most of us fall somewhere in between “challenged” and “gifted”. Put simply we find ourselves walking the fine line between fanaticism and fatigue where we find romance in all of its glory and gore! This puts us in the awkward and often unclear social, cultural and historical expectations which none of us can actually achieve and find ourselves falling short while at the same time our others find our efforts, errors and excitement quite endearing. These can include:

  • Lovenotes
  • Petnames
  • Flowers
  • First Date Recreations
  • Counting & Celebrating Days, Months & Years
  • Homemade Gifts
  • Chocolate
  • Selfie Shots
  • Ice Cream
  • Silly Kissy Faces
  • Birthday Surprises
  • Little Gifts
  • Grand Gestures
  • Emoji Love Spells
  • Intimate Texts
  • and so many other “love-bytes” we share

As our HHIA-Relationships devlop and transform from dating to living together, from living together to building a life together, and form building to sharing and maintaining a life together, things change. Some of the little things that brought us together can fall to the wayside as we saddle up and ride off into the sunset together.

Photo by Pablo Nidam on Scopio

Romantically Resistant

Kiss me and you will see how important I am.

Sylvia Plath

Ultimately, this process can leave us feeling more bound and tied to one another than feeling connected, joined, or coupled. In other words, our united fronts and fixed relationship roles can leave us feeling unseen and isolated in our relationships and time together which can begin to suffer from an absence of expressed appreciation and spoken approval or voiced affection. 

Romantic Revival

When this happens, we are being invited to inspire ROMANCE in ourselves and our significant others! We are invited to again:

  • invent incidents
  • exxagerate detail
  • entertain romantic thoughts & ideas
  • flatter
  • give personal attention
  • and “curry favor”

with & from both our partners and ourselves.

This is not an instantaneous event or automatic effect. But there is great potential for fun and creativity, when we choose to make the effort. We can remember and reignite our passion potential.

I’m very romantic, I’m extremely romantic. I date my wife.

Alice Cooper
Photo by ethereal lenswork on Scopio

That’s all for now!

This is Sean. Try to remember romance for yourself (and for those who are important to you) this week and see what happens.

(For more concrete suggestions, contact me at kontakt@praxis-wiebersch.de .)

Our earlier Blog-Lessons:

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German Blog-lessons:

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